Surviving Unemployment

Unemployment. Such an ominous word, but one that is used fairly often these days. Most of us can name a friend or a family member who has lost his or her job due to the "state" of the economy. These layoffs and downsizing's have become so common that they are predictable. But what happens after the pink slip?

The day I was laid off was a cold day in January. I had heard from the grapevine that other layoffs were happening, and was not surprised when I was called into the office. Having only worked at the office for two years, I was one of the newest employees. Another employee just celebrated her 35th year of employment at the company.

After the tears dried, the hiccups faded and I took some time to look around and take in my situation, I realized that this was, perhaps, not the worst that could happen. Yes, my family would have to re-organize and re-prioritize our lives, but we would make it. But how?

People aren't kidding when they tell you that you'll go through the stages of grief after losing your job. I met and joined each of the stages as we passed through that time after my job loss. The unemployment money, although wonderful, was less than half of what I used to bring home. Still, it was just enough to keep us from being considered "low-income" or below the poverty line. But just barely.

Most families who are considered low-income or are below the poverty line and are eligible to receive state or federal assistance receive more money for food, shelter and expenses than we are able to provide for our family. We had to cut our budget.

First we looked at our housing costs. We currently rent a house. We cannot move to a lower cost rental unit because our credit is bad. We also can't afford the cost to move out of our current digs and into a new place. We certainly can't afford a house! So we stay where we are.

Next we tried to start saving money by shopping more efficiently. We pre-assemble all our dinners now, buying the meat on sale and making dinners that we only have to thaw and reheat. We eat out even less than we did before, thanks to always having dinner planned. We make more things ourselves - I bake bread, cookies, cakes, and other goodies.

More and more, we are hearing how others are suffering. Surely there is a way to get around this. Our senator says that unemployment benefits should be cut so that it forces the unemployed to find work more quickly. I have applied to jobs every week since January 15th, and have yet to have a single interview for a full-time job. Cutting that benefit will surely not make me look harder when there is nothing to find.

The only good news, sort of, is that my husband is about to lose his job due to his health being poor and him being on medical leave for 3 months. The problem is still not better, and he will most likely have to have surgery that will take longer to recover than he has time left thanks to FMLA. At least now we have the option of moving somewhere else.

What happens next? Do we stay near our families? Do we find jobs in another city? Another state? Who knows. Who knows what will come of the future. What we do know, though, is that we will be together. We will be providing for our son. These things we know because they are the most important things to us. Good luck to everyone who is unemployed, I hope you survive too.

Happy Easter

Another family-filled holiday has come and gone. This year I didn't get any eggs dyed, but we did make some "baby-friendly" eggs with vanilla wafers, graham crackers, animal crackers and Cheerios and our little man went on his very first Easter egg hunt. He did quite well, with the exception of the 2 (nearly 3) eggs that were stolen by the dogs. One dog tried to pick up two eggs in her mouth at one time, and it was hilarious. That was my sister's dog. We forgot our camera, but I fixed my dad's camera so he has pictures.

DJ loved the bunny that his other grandpa and grandma gave him as an Easter gift. It sings, it wiggles it's tail and bounces it's ears - absolutely adorable! He is looking so grown up these days, and yesterday he even stood up on his own without holding onto anything for a solid minute or more. He's growing so fast! We also saw my cousin who is an 8-month old and he was flirting with her. His second girlfriend, although I doubt he remembers the one from his babysitters house.

We are progressing well, but sleepily. Tomorrow is a Mom Squad meeting, which I'm very much looking forward to attending. Our chiropractor is the guest speaker and at Mom's Night Out on Thursday we'll be doing Yoga. What a wonderful relaxation after such a busy weekend! I'm considering volunteering for a leadership position in Mom Squad, although I'm not sure that I have enough time. I'm going to keep marinating on it, but not making any promises. I just love the group and don't want to see it go by the wayside.

I wish teething weren't so difficult for us. I'm so tired.

Train Whistles and Morning Quiet

Since I was laid off from my job, my entire routine has become amazingly... different. It's only natural, since it's been nearly four months now, but it's still awkward to me. This time in the morning I used to be trying to rush into getting ready for work while balancing a baby - trying to make sure he's sleeping until I'm ready, which rarely ever worked, and then making sure I still have enough time to give him a good breakfast, play a bit and get him ready to go to the baby sitter's house. I much rather prefer this way.

This morning I'm awake because the baby didn't want to go back into his crib, so it took some doing to get him back to sleep. Once I'm awake for so long, I just can't go back to sleep. Luckily, today it was at 6am and not earlier. I never did understand why my mom had so much trouble with sleep after my sister was born. Oh boy, now I do.

The gentle sound of the train whistle in the distance takes me back to another life, and then another. I used to be so frustrated when I was stuck at the tracks because that meant I would be at least late to work. And before that, when I was a student, it was the most peaceful, soothing sound to hear breaking through the dark of night. I used to stay awake just to hear midnight trains. Now I'm lucky if I can stay awake until 9pm!

It's funny how things change. We are coming up on our second wedding anniversary, and it's amazing how much we have changed in those two years. It seemed like such small changes while we were going through them, but looking back it's just astounding to realize how much we have really grown - together and up. We are much more like a sturdy tree now than flailing seedlings side by side. Together, intertwined, we are reaching for the sky with our fruit protected beneath our leaves.

And I wax poetic in the dark of morning.

Unintended Vacations and Spring

I'm sure this has happened to more people than just me... at least I hope so... I would like to apologize for my unintended vacation! Our computer happened to get a virus and happened to go kaput, so I have been without my blog and blog friends for a bit. Now that we are well on the way to having the computer repaired, I am finally able to blog again! And oh, how there are things I have to tell you about! For right now, let's just get started with one of my all-time favorite topics: Spring!

Spring is a lovely season, the loveliest if you ask me, and it's filled with glorious things. There are buds on the trees, the lilacs are just beginning to bud and will soon flower, the garden is being tilled and mulch added, the seedlings are well on their way to three or more leaves and garage sales are just around the corner. What could be better than that? The farmer's market will be full on the courthouse square on Saturday mornings again, and fresh veggie prices will be dropping even at the grocery stores!

Our Community Garden at church is coming along nicely, and will hopefully be tilled within the next 2 weeks. You can expect to see an article in The Star (formerly the Evening Star) when we officially open. Plots are 4'x10' (or 6'x10') and membership dues are $10. There is also an Earth Day celebration on April 18 at one of our local parks where I will be representing our garden to the community. We already have lots of support and tons of gardeners interested, it's going to be an excellent task and what better way to keep myself busy since I'm unemployed?

We are planning our very own garage sale planned in time to be before the Tiny Tyrant (tm)'s first birthday and also conveniently before Spring Cleanup in our town so that anything that isn't sold can be taken away to a thrift store or collected by Spring Cleanup. Now I just have to finish going through all of our things to remove those items that should be in the sale - and as many of you know, that is no small task! I have spent the last several weeks doing major decluttering and organizing, as I've promised my husband I will attempt to curb my packrat ways.

The little man has finally succumbed to his morning nap, and I'm absolutely hungry so it's time for me to gather up some breakfast. I hope to connect with you all soon!

Top 5 Favorite Pregnancy Helpers

Do you remember your last pregnancy? Did you have any favorite helpers during your pregnancy that you recommend to every pregnant woman that you see? No? You're not that crazy? Well, I am and I do! I happen to love seeing pregnant women and spreading the love to them about what helped me the most during my pregnancy. Call me crazy, I know you do anyway, but it happens! And if I saw you walking down the street with a pregnant belly, I'd definitely share with you as well! But, just so we don't have to have all that uncomfortableness if you're a male reader, I'll go ahead and share them with you here that way we don't have to buy all the plane tickets that would allow us to casually bump into one another. Without further ado, here are my top 5 pregnancy helpers:

5. You know one of those delightful side effects of pregnancy... that one where there's a discharge in the second half of your second trimester through the birth of your child? Yeah, that whole uncomfortable thing. Well, the only thing that helped me there were cloth pads. I know, it sounds crazy. But they were larger, less environmentally dangerous and more comfortable (less rashy) than pantiliners or traditional pads. I highly recommend that you check out Rachel's Legal Pad if you want to try these out (and support an awesome girl!)
4. Yogi Tea's Mother to Be tea is one of my favorites because I drank one cup of it throughout my pregnancy (upon waking, which did help settle my stomach a bit) and it resulted in benefits at delivery - I had one of the lowest amounts of blood loss allowable. In fact, it was so low that they were expecting to find me hemorrhaging, but no - it really was just the herbs! This tea was comforting in the cold winter mornings while I was pregnant and also helped me focus my attention on the wee one growing in my belly when I was spending most of my days praying at the porcelain throne.
3. Nicki's Nursing Sugar Cookies are the best nursing pads I have ever found. I was a tester for her when she first started making them, and they have only improved since then. From great to awesome! They have soft bamboo velour on one side and pink microchamois fleece on the other with two layers of hemp and a layer of microfiber in the middle. They are ultra soft, super absorbant and I have never once had any chapping problems - even without using lanolin. I have used these while nursing full time - for a whole day - and they are still not wet on the outside. I have also used these while pumping and again - no moisture! It wicks away to the center and is ready to absorb more! Another great part of these is that 10% of every sale goes to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation!
2. B-Natal Lozenges and Lollipops - are sweet little miracle workers, and the only way I made it to work some days during my first trimester and the first half of my second trimester! I literally took paper bags covered in plastic bags everytime I went in the car because I had such terrible morning sickness - ALL DAY LONG! They offer enough B6 to help keep you from tossing your cookies in those lovely early days. For me, they worked better than lemon, ginger, meditation or anything else I tried. (I threw everything at this, until my midwife recommended these to me!) So if you're suffering, I'd recommend these to you as well!
And the number one pregnancy helper is...
1. Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth! I read the book and began practicing the exercises and the diet early on in my pregnancy. We took the childbirth class locally, and it prepared us in a way that we couldn't imagine trying to have a natural birth without. My husband was an excellent coach, even through the Pitocin and the pushing - he caught our son and used Kangaroo Care to warm him after he made is great arrival. Without Bradley, I don't know what we would've done. With Bradley, my husband was the talk of the hospital for a while yet to come! I highly recommend these childbirth classes to ALL expectant mothers, especially if it's your first time! You'll learn more than you ever thought you could and also learn how to prepare your body for labor, delivery and after. It's a great experience and you can even make friends through the class! We still see some of our classmates on a weekly basis!

Being a Mom is Hard

There is one aspect of parenting, and probably more, but one that I'm focused on right now, that you cannot prepare yourself for, no matter how much you read or how many people offer you advice. Being a mom is hard. Being a parent is hard, for that matter. Since I know the field from the position of Mom, I think I'll stick to using my own point of view for it, though.

When I first went back to work after having the Tiny Tyrant (tm), I had a very difficult time because I never wanted to leave him. It was very bad. The kind of heart-wrenching pain that you can only describe if you have lived through it. I was diagnosed with post partum depression (PPD) and my midwife was great about offering advice to me about local groups to connect with and ways to battle the dark clouds in addition to medication.

Things have been going fairly smoothly for a while, despite my lack of job, because I've been able to spend a ton of time with the little man and we've really grown. We have our routines and our schedules and we have generally agreeable times (with the exclusion of teething, perhaps), and we know what to expect from one another now. It was so difficult when I was first laid off because I had to admit to myself that I did not know my son's daytime routines or his favorite things to do in the daytime. That was a difficult time for me, but now we are familiar again.

Tonight, however, is different. Tonight I'm headed to a Mom's Night Out with a local group of moms. My heart, though, just left in a big black truck with his Daddy. They're heading out to my husband's parents for a visit, leaving early so I have time to get myself ready and have some me-time before I head out to see the other moms and play games. I feel a tug of the old familiar heartstrings and it takes me back to those times (although it's not nearly as bad) before I was diagnosed when I was all torn up about my son.

It's just one of those lovely moments where it's brushed in a little more (like the dirt that has now been brushed into the carpet, thanks baby), just how difficult it really is to be a mom. Not that seeing the little guy every day and knowing that I'm responsible for his happiness and his education isn't enough of a reminder, but you know. To be a mom is to be a comforter, a nurterer, a provider, a nutritional advisor, a homework helper, a researcher, and the list can go on... forever.

Just remember, to those of you who may not yet be mothers, it's hard.

Giveaway: Cheerios Circle of Helping Hearts

Have you seen the Cheerios boxes with the red dresses on them? As a mother of (nearly) toddler, we often shop Cheerios, so this is something that is near and dear to my heart - in more ways than one!

From now until January 31, 2010, $1 will be donated to helping women get the cholesterol screening that they need for every Cheerios code entered on http://www.cheerioshelpinghearts.com! These codes can be found on the inside flap of the specially marked Cheerios boxes. You can find the specially marked boxes of regular Cheerios, Honey Nut Cheerios and Multigrain Cheerios.

Heart disease is a serious issue for women - but one that we typically only think involves men! It is the number 1 killer of women in the United States, and it is so easy to avoid! Proper diet, exercise and regular medical checks are all you need to keep heart disease free, but unfortunately there are many women who cannot even afford to have their cholesterol screened. That's where Cheerios is stepping in - they are donating the money so that women who otherwise would not be able to can have their cholesterol screenings done in order to help them prevent and avoid heart disease.

Once you buy one of the boxes of Cheerios, all you have to do is go to the website and enter the code - super easy, isn't it! But now I have a giveaway...

The above Cheerios box is an example of the special marking that you should be on the looking for with the donation codes. The freshwater pearl bracelet is my giveaway!

Here's what you need to do:

1. Post a comment here to share your story about a woman who has battled or overcome heart diease.

OR

2. Post a comment here explaining why you want to maintain your heart health and what you do to keep yourself away from heart disease.

3. For an additional entry, follow this blog or subscribe to the feed. If you are already a follower or a subscriber - that counts! Make sure you post this comment separately.

4. For one more additional entry, follow me on Twitter! If you are already a follower - that counts! Make sure you post this comment separately too.

I have three bracelets to giveaway, and I will pick 3 entries at random. The one catch is that each bracelet is going to need to go to a separate winner. You can only win ONE bracelet so that we can spread the news of Cheerios' generous donations to as many people as possible.

Get your comments in by March 31, 2009 at 12 noon EST!